The Annual Black Friday Diatribe
Friday, November 23rd, 2007
It seems that I am compelled to write about Black Friday (the Friday after Thanksgiving) each year. My friends would say that my disdain for Black Friday comes from a contrarian streak deep within my cynical soul that hates the happiness derived from material accumulation. I must disagree with friends and readers who think so lowly of me. The reason why I dislike Black Friday is the national exposure of American crassness and opulence in malls around the country.
The most compelling argument against braving the cold on November 23rd, 2007 is the proliferation of Internet outlets. The fact that the Amazons and FYEs of the world provide inexpensive options for shoppers should be enough to keep people in after a long Thanksgiving Day. Newspapers and TV reporters have been speaking about the increasing isolation of Americans due to technology. If this sociological assessment is true, we would see a massive falloff of Black Friday sales.
Our monstrous consumerism and desire to best our neighbors and co-workers are exposed on Black Friday. Parents fight over the latest cute fluffy toy that makes realistic sounds and has been marked up to make the Black Friday discount seem like a bargain. Grown men and women get in line at 5:00 am to seek out $20 DVD players like heat-seeking missiles with the inevitable collision of gluttonous juggernauts causing a stir in your local Wal-Mart. We are a nation that values our consumption and the ultimate deal but we don’t mind sacrificing our greatest value (dignity) in the pursuit of a few saved dollars.
I am not staying at home today as a political statement or a socialist protest against runaway capitalism. The media is not at fault for failing to convince me that the best prices can be found on Black Friday. I will spend Black Friday enjoying time with family, reading, heading to a second-hand store to take advantage of consumer mistakes and watch as we head further down the pole of integrity. As an orientation for the uninitiated, we are just above competitive eaters and slightly below college students selling plasma for beer money in terms of the dignity we demonstrate on Black Friday.
